days grown longer then usual now that your gonee ; tears fall more and more eachday as we reach that day that we will see you once again , but not like the last time we seen you when yu was smiling and everything was okay . it will be the time we look into the dark clouds only too see nothing but knowing that after the rain comes sunshine . man so many times i jus wish yu was some place else so that i could jux warn yu about so much .
so we sit with ah big chip on our shoulder cause yet our hearts cant bear it and enough tears cant xpress how much we cared . so as i type this i listen to hear yu say whats sup to me and embrace me with ah hug . to hear someone who knew yu better then i did that yu was some place else jux for ah lil bit and that you'll be cominq home soon and i turn back to reality when i see the rest in peace shirts and it hits meee ; danq my bro gone . my cousinn . and most of all those things yu where my friend .
yeah we didnt have to have the deep friendship and maybe only if we had said hi oncee i would have stilled cried . so dear davon as i close this up i want yu to know i cared . and no we wasnt that close , but i cared <3
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
fAIRYTALE
ALWAYS lOOKiNG fHA THE RiGHT ONE OR MY PRiNCE ; BUT YET STORiES iN BOOKS SEEM SO GOOD & WE GET CAUGHT UP WANTiNG fiCTiONAL THiNGS THAT LiFE CANT HANDLE . SO WE SET OUR hOPES HiGH TO BE REJECTD BEYONDD MEASUREE & COME TO OURSELVES AND REGRET OUR DECiSiONS ; SO NOOO MY RELATiONSHiP DiDNT TURN OUT TO bE lIKE CiNDERELLA OR SNOW WHiTEE -- BUT YET i lEARNED AH lESSON ONLi tHAT HE COULD TEACH ME & MANY OTHERSS , AlWAYS bE YOURSELF & NEVER CHANGE JUX MAKE ADJUSTMENTS fHA YAH BETTER hALF ; CAUSE LiKE MOMMA SAiD " GOOD THiNGS DONT lAST AlWAYS " , bUT TO NEVER QUiT UNLESS YOU CANT BEAR iT . SOMETiMES LiFE HiTS YU WiTH MANY THiNGS tHAT lEAVE YU STUCK & CONFUSEDD ; MY TWiN TOLD ME TO lET GO & lET GOD . SOMETiMES WHEN i STRAY AWAYS iT KiCKS ME RiGHT iN MY fACE & fALLiNG iSNT fUNN HiTTiNG tHA GROUD iSNT EiTHER ; SO NOW i lOOK fHA AH NEW DESTiNY OF MY OWNN. SOMTiMES lOVE kNOCKS YU DOWNN & WHEN iT DOES PiCK YAH SELF UP AGAiN , iF YUR WiLLiNG tO TRY AGAiN GO HEADD -- BiG UPS TOO YU . SO BELiEVE iN fAIRYTALES CAUSE YET THEY LET YOU iMAGiNEE iN AH WORLD WHERE lOVE iS PREVELENT & REfRESHED . BUMBLEbEE
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
my Hood ( Camden)
camden a place i called home so many times aqain , a place where i had no friends and because of the color of skin and my gender of my body i was going be nothinq but a losee hen layinq some eggs for a negro i didnt know .
So my mother thought she did somethinq by moving me out the hood giving me a taste of the good lifee . livinq poor in a rich neiqhborhood and mr rodgers didnt live down the street but a couple miles away . cause yet trying hard to keep up with the trends when my mom had gas and electric bills . wanting the finer thinqs in life that she offered to me but yet i could only see them on magazines and store windows , but yet she took me out the hood and made a better life for me .
so i go and live in a new place where people like me talk a little different and i see different races cause yet i was used to the urban area . city girl forced to live a life she didnt plan on . the hood was all she knew but yet that didnt take that long to erase out of her head . yes yes yes . cause she or i quickly reformed to the proper speaking girl . who didnt care what the world though of ne thing about her . shoes wasnt busted but they wasnt the best . had nice and decent clothes but isnt wasnt like the others girls . to niqquas on the street i was livinq the best of both worlds .
finding myself once agian wanting what i couldnt afford . jordans and hollister shirts that my mom couldnt buy .
so now she sticks me back in the ghetto i onced called home . faced to be different once again but here they look just like me . no dreams or goals but yet they smile at their own failure . not knowing that there is somethinq out there better for them and me . is this god brinq me back to save the city or atleast the people i can .
or is this another test im willing to fail on to face man kind once again with that devilish grin and say i tried but was it my best they ask & i strug my shoulders saying to myself naa but they really dont know .
it isnt the fear of camden city that scared me . its the umwritten books on our lives . the common welfare given up and the government throwinq checks at us as if that is all we are worth . the broken dreams of the sick and dead . the unheard sad song of the common crackhead . oor the cry for help from he.she that works that nine to five to support hers and many others . so drops weapon and pick up love , cause yet camden isnt the worst were just broken into nothing .!
So my mother thought she did somethinq by moving me out the hood giving me a taste of the good lifee . livinq poor in a rich neiqhborhood and mr rodgers didnt live down the street but a couple miles away . cause yet trying hard to keep up with the trends when my mom had gas and electric bills . wanting the finer thinqs in life that she offered to me but yet i could only see them on magazines and store windows , but yet she took me out the hood and made a better life for me .
so i go and live in a new place where people like me talk a little different and i see different races cause yet i was used to the urban area . city girl forced to live a life she didnt plan on . the hood was all she knew but yet that didnt take that long to erase out of her head . yes yes yes . cause she or i quickly reformed to the proper speaking girl . who didnt care what the world though of ne thing about her . shoes wasnt busted but they wasnt the best . had nice and decent clothes but isnt wasnt like the others girls . to niqquas on the street i was livinq the best of both worlds .
finding myself once agian wanting what i couldnt afford . jordans and hollister shirts that my mom couldnt buy .
so now she sticks me back in the ghetto i onced called home . faced to be different once again but here they look just like me . no dreams or goals but yet they smile at their own failure . not knowing that there is somethinq out there better for them and me . is this god brinq me back to save the city or atleast the people i can .
or is this another test im willing to fail on to face man kind once again with that devilish grin and say i tried but was it my best they ask & i strug my shoulders saying to myself naa but they really dont know .
it isnt the fear of camden city that scared me . its the umwritten books on our lives . the common welfare given up and the government throwinq checks at us as if that is all we are worth . the broken dreams of the sick and dead . the unheard sad song of the common crackhead . oor the cry for help from he.she that works that nine to five to support hers and many others . so drops weapon and pick up love , cause yet camden isnt the worst were just broken into nothing .!
Monday, April 13, 2009
a simple girl forced to be somethinq she isnt , crying cause yet she has nothing but herself and thats atleast how she feels inside . family you cant pick em and her so called friends you cant miss them . fullfiled you would think when you seen her big smile and the love thst she instill in her hugs and kisses .
the hope in her eyes you wouldnt understand the pain in her heart , longing for the unconditional love . the black on black lovee - the love that without a doubt he will stay ; the love that runs longer then the nile and deeper then the oceans bottom . so she on the conquest to find what yet she longinq for and falls short every time but maybe its her destiny cause yet she isnt that big and her poems arent that great - but yet her heart biqqer then the sun & loves more then the word itself .
so she press on after every mishap and let down cause yet she was a brown girl so she knew what to expect l. the color from her skin bleed on her paper from her determination - stop by the road blocks that say she couldnt and the family that gave up on her and say she wouldn .
her destiny based on peoples opinoin of her and not her heart ; good grades but yet she still comes up short - not knowing what too do cause they dont put on tv the positive imaqe of the girl just the ones that she self incriminates herself in .
selling her self short for some guy just to say he loves her . never really had a father figure to care and the one that did , died in 2003 and so did she emotionless she stand fighting back tears cause yet she cant get him back . not appericating him while he was here so now she fight for the love once again to reoccure in her lifee - only one that she felt believed her kicked her out on her ass , not thinking about the future or her pass ; but yet she knows her destiny & how bright the future will be
because when i look in the mirror and see that girl . i realize that the girl is ME .
the hope in her eyes you wouldnt understand the pain in her heart , longing for the unconditional love . the black on black lovee - the love that without a doubt he will stay ; the love that runs longer then the nile and deeper then the oceans bottom . so she on the conquest to find what yet she longinq for and falls short every time but maybe its her destiny cause yet she isnt that big and her poems arent that great - but yet her heart biqqer then the sun & loves more then the word itself .
so she press on after every mishap and let down cause yet she was a brown girl so she knew what to expect l. the color from her skin bleed on her paper from her determination - stop by the road blocks that say she couldnt and the family that gave up on her and say she wouldn .
her destiny based on peoples opinoin of her and not her heart ; good grades but yet she still comes up short - not knowing what too do cause they dont put on tv the positive imaqe of the girl just the ones that she self incriminates herself in .
selling her self short for some guy just to say he loves her . never really had a father figure to care and the one that did , died in 2003 and so did she emotionless she stand fighting back tears cause yet she cant get him back . not appericating him while he was here so now she fight for the love once again to reoccure in her lifee - only one that she felt believed her kicked her out on her ass , not thinking about the future or her pass ; but yet she knows her destiny & how bright the future will be
because when i look in the mirror and see that girl . i realize that the girl is ME .
Sunday, April 12, 2009
jailed
The Newspapers that cover the urban stories to the magazine that writes the articles . we are just to them as monkeys as we were in the early 1800s man i look around and as they jailed like cadqe animals . rip from out dignity only to pass no hopes unto us . giving us every right not to push on and move forward .
sitting in there waiting for his chance at sunlight knowin it will be i while making excuses for himself , tell himself that he is unloved that why his family doesnt come around , shamed by what he did so they forget about him . letters gets scares and the only thing that he has now is himself , not wanting to confine into religion so he indugles his head into the books . Readinq is power so they said . so every night he thought that he won one fight by education himself .
phone calls not accepted cause yet thst girlfriend of his isnt his anymore
forced to care for a child all on her own . at night it seem so cold that even with another mans around around her she cant seem to find heat . stuck to just try to make cause her babydad cant fake it . he is in jail . telling the same story as the next man that he was innocent . but hey i wouldnt know cause i am only the story teller right now .
times get hard in the pin so he washes his fce , fights his way only for a little respect . but he locked up like a animal . like maya said i know why the cadqe bird sings . but yet the same hood song that jezzy wrote .
sitting in there waiting for his chance at sunlight knowin it will be i while making excuses for himself , tell himself that he is unloved that why his family doesnt come around , shamed by what he did so they forget about him . letters gets scares and the only thing that he has now is himself , not wanting to confine into religion so he indugles his head into the books . Readinq is power so they said . so every night he thought that he won one fight by education himself .
phone calls not accepted cause yet thst girlfriend of his isnt his anymore
forced to care for a child all on her own . at night it seem so cold that even with another mans around around her she cant seem to find heat . stuck to just try to make cause her babydad cant fake it . he is in jail . telling the same story as the next man that he was innocent . but hey i wouldnt know cause i am only the story teller right now .
times get hard in the pin so he washes his fce , fights his way only for a little respect . but he locked up like a animal . like maya said i know why the cadqe bird sings . but yet the same hood song that jezzy wrote .
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Issues
the issues that ah face today isnt so stranqe ; cause you adults dont understand my pain . yeah your time wasnt like now ; nor was it ever bad cause yall had swinq shows instead of house partys and many of you had dads .
so you tell us that we have issues but yet not try to address them at all . lend ah helping hand to carry neither one of us " kids" alonq . so you pressure us with the gift that we can be better but when we faced with peers and cold wheather but thats not none of your concerns ; but yet you still tellinq me that i have issues
ah know my place in this life ; or atleast i think but sometimes it get bad and i need to let go some thinqs so sometimes the issues ah face are way major then yours . cause you guys tell us the stories about black and white wars but yet we have black on black wars and even if we are of the same color ; we try to use racial tone to eachother .
but yet again you sit and tell me that i have issues cause at your age the biggest concern was a tie dye shirt and cut up jeans .
but yet am faced with crack heads friends and broken dreams . so yet ah stare at maqazines ; and videos and hopinq ah make it big and dance and shake like beyonce or maybe even dance like ciara . but yet ah have issues and only blunt uneducated rappers are on my tv and sometimes ah mite see ah nice lookinq girl -- so the role models they stay aways cause yet tyra where did she go . from doinq models to talk shows but yet we dont hear about this .
we only see young kids dancinq to stakiny leq and you say ah have issues
give me a good reason why ah shouldnt
cause yet the world do - am just statinq from my point of veiw
so you tell us that we have issues but yet not try to address them at all . lend ah helping hand to carry neither one of us " kids" alonq . so you pressure us with the gift that we can be better but when we faced with peers and cold wheather but thats not none of your concerns ; but yet you still tellinq me that i have issues
ah know my place in this life ; or atleast i think but sometimes it get bad and i need to let go some thinqs so sometimes the issues ah face are way major then yours . cause you guys tell us the stories about black and white wars but yet we have black on black wars and even if we are of the same color ; we try to use racial tone to eachother .
but yet again you sit and tell me that i have issues cause at your age the biggest concern was a tie dye shirt and cut up jeans .
but yet am faced with crack heads friends and broken dreams . so yet ah stare at maqazines ; and videos and hopinq ah make it big and dance and shake like beyonce or maybe even dance like ciara . but yet ah have issues and only blunt uneducated rappers are on my tv and sometimes ah mite see ah nice lookinq girl -- so the role models they stay aways cause yet tyra where did she go . from doinq models to talk shows but yet we dont hear about this .
we only see young kids dancinq to stakiny leq and you say ah have issues
give me a good reason why ah shouldnt
cause yet the world do - am just statinq from my point of veiw
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Miseducation Of Me
Tryinq To Find An Outlet So Ah Scream In My Pillow & The Tears That Hit My Face Burns Like Acid ; But As Its Reaches The ♥ It Slowly Kills Me - But Ah Fight Tah Live Another Day To Love ; But Yet Up Cryinq Juz Like Baby - Tryinq To Figure Out Is It Me . ! Ah Smile But Yet Broken & Am Silent But Yet You Can Hear The Pain From Ah Mile Away ; Focusinq On My Past ; So Ah Cant Enjoy My Future . ! Kanye Called It Heartless & Ah Call It Knowinq Pain When You See It . ! So Ah Hide Under Ah Rock -Scared To Love & If He Loves Me Will He Stay True ; But Yet As Beinq Ah Human - Ah Cant Tell Cause Yet We Are Sappose To Learn From Our Mistakes ; So Why Do Ah Constantly Repeat Em . Ah Say Nothinq Even Matter Around Em - But It Does Ah Love Em So Much That Anythinq He Does Kills Me ; Revived By His Kiss & His Words Cut Me Like Knvies ; But Wonds Heal Right Thats What My Muttah Always Told Me . So Ah Search For An Outlet But Yet Ah Reach For My Pillow & Cry Like Ah Baby Again & Ah Question MySelf - Is This My Mistake Lovinq Too Hard & Hittinq The Ground Even Harder - So Ah Try To Wear Protection ; But Yet It Still Hurts . This Is The Miseducation Of Jennah - & Yet Am Tryinq Tah Inform You . !
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